Kid-isms that have been fermenting in my inbox

1/4/14 Raine’s first selfie (I found this little gem on the point-n-shoot camera that I hardly ever download)

Raine, coming into my room: “Mom, look what I found outside.”
Me: “Ew, gross!”
Raine: “Why? What is it?”
Me: “It’s a grasshopper leg.”
Raine, resisting the urge to drop it on the floor and move away: “Oh.”
She took it out back and in all seriousness yelled: “Carter, look for a grasshopper, okay. We need to give him his leg back.”

1/9/14 Bubble bath

Me to DJ as we were driving out of a parking lot near a construction zone: “There is a barricade at the end of the road so you will have to go out that way.”
Carter, from the backseat: “Where is a bear cage?”
Me, completely confused: “Huh? Bear cage? What are you talking about? . . . Oh! I said barricade, not bear cage!”
Carter, disappointed: “Oh.”

2/11/14 Playing horse

Raine, as we drove down the road after dark: “There’s the moon. It is only a little moon. Do you know why the moon changes shapes?”
Me, preparing to explain the mysteries of the universe: “Well, it’s because . . .”
Raine cutting me off (apparently it was a rhetorical question, meant only to lead into her explanation): “It is because the moon is full of magic glowy stuff and the glowy stuff changes shape inside the moon and that shows through and makes the moon look different shapes.”
My explanation seemed so dull and boring after that one, so I just said “Oh! I see.”

2/10/14 Raine, after the daddy-daughter valentine’s date

Raine, describing a card she wants to make: “… and then we’ll open it up and write in curses on the inside.”
Me, feigning shock (knowing that she really meant ‘cursive’): “We’ll write in curses on the inside?!!!”
Raine: “Yeah, we’ll write in curses so nobody can understand it!”

2/6/14 Carter was so excited to play in the snow that he drug me out there at 8:00 a.m. so he could throw snowballs at me.

Each year our Stake puts on a Christmas concert featuring a choir and full orchestra. We were there, seated in the last row of the chapel, as the tubas walked in. Carter’s eyes got real wide as he excitedly yelled: “Look at those BIG whistles!”

2/6/14 Captain America

Carter: “When I grow up, I’m going to be a BIG Superman!”
Mom: “Oh, yeah? You’ll be a good Superman.”
Carter: “Mom, when I’m a big Superman will you fly around with me and help me bam the bad guys?”
Mom: “Yeah, I would love to fly around with you getting the bad guys.”
Melted my heart!

2/15/14 Superman

Carter, running around in his Batman cape, itching his back-end: “Batman has an itchy bum.”
Daddy: “Oh yeah? Do you need to go wipe your bum?”
Carter coming out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles: “Umm, Batman needs to change his underpants… he has a little skid-mark.”

2/10/14 Carter wanted to push his super heroes around the track on matchbox cars, but kept getting frustrated when they would fall off, so we rubber-banded them to the tops!

Raine: “I know about the food pyramid.”
Me: “Oh yeah? What’s on the food pyramid?”
Raine: “Good foods . . . like sugar.”

2/8/14 My birthday party at Rebounderz!

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