Life is always exciting with a walking, talking toddler around. There is no end to the off-the-wall things that come out of her mouth. It really makes me see life differently — from the perspective of someone three-feet tall who knows virtually nothing about social norms except what she learns from watching people around her, particularly me and DJ.

I always try to remember her one-liners, but by the time I get around to writing them down, most of them are gone (lately my memory has rivaled that of a fruit fly). However, I have managed to document a few of them over the past couple months (the dates are when they were recorded, not necessarily the day they happened).

Sunday, January 9, 2011

I was sweeping up the crumbs under the table while Raine was sitting on a chair, out of the blue she says, “your’re a good helper, mommy!”

*****
DJ: “Raine, you’re a nut!”
R: “Daddy, you’re a sprinkled doughnut nut!”

*****
R: “Daddy, I got a poopy nugget. Change my stinky bum.”

*****
R: “Mommy, you have a big bum.”
Me: “Oh, really?”
R: “Yes, and Daddy has a big bum. And I have a big bum. But Carter has a little bum.”

*****
Raine said her prayers all by herself for the first time. Most of it was incoherent, but I did hear, “Please bless the food, and the doughnuts, and the sprinkled doughnuts. And bless mommy, and Carter, and Daddy.” (She always prays for everyone she can think of, usually multiple times each.) “Gama and Gampa and Aunt Sara and Carson and Logan and Gama and Gampa and Uncle Dallin and Aunt Sarah . . . “

Tuesday, February 1, 2011
After my RS presidency meeting, Rashae and I were still sitting at the table talking. Raine was sitting on my lap writing on my agenda with a pen (all of my notes have “Raine scratch” all over them, some to the extent that I can’t even read what I originally wrote). All of a sudden, as I was talking, I noticed that Raine had her pen poised above the paper, looking right at Rashae with her best “grown-up serious business” face, nodding her head in agreement. Rashae and I couldn’t stop laughing. Sometimes I think this girl is two going on twenty!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011
I was in the restroom while Raine and Carter were playing on the bed when the following dialog took place.
R: “Ewe, gross.”
Me: “What are you doing, Raine? What’s wrong?”
R: “Carter has a snotty nose.”
Me: “Can you wipe it for him?”
R: “Yes, I can.”
** A few seconds pass. **
R: “That’s disgusting, Buddy. That’s disgusting.”
** A few more seconds pass. **
R: “You need another tissue. I will get you another tissue.”
Me: (worried that she is either wiping his face to the point of suffocation or allowing him to eat the tissues) “Raine, did you get it wiped?”
R: (coming into the bathroom with her best “grown-up serious business” face) “Yes, I did wipe his slobbery face.”

*****
“My bum is hanging out.” This is heard all the time because Raine refuses to wear pants so her diaper slides up her cheeks as she climbs around.

Friday, February 11, 2011

R: “Mommy I hurt my bum.” Sticking her back-side out toward me, “Kiss it.”

Friday, February 25, 2011

After spending a couple hours preparing food for a funeral luncheon and then delivering it clear up to Keller, I got a call that I needed to do a food order on my way home. Not wanting to make Raine crabby by dragging her to yet another RS duty I decided to play to her LOVE of meetings.
Me: “Raine, I need to go to a meeting, do you want to come and help me at the meeting?”
R: (Thinking for a second and then lighting up with a HUGE excited smile.) “We get pens!”
In her little mind, going to a meeting means that you get to write with a pen, and she loves writing with any sort of contraband. The rest of the drive to the appointment she talked about getting a pen and how she would use the black one and I would get the blue one.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

R: “I’m sharing!” Said as she takes Carter’s puffs or cheerios and eats them. But don’t worry, she gives him some too.

What you don’t see in this photo is the burp-cloth that she has next to her so she can wipe his slobber off her fingers every time she feeds him.