Before we headed to church yesterday, I prayed to hear something important about motherhood in the messages. This was no idle prayer. Sitting with two small children, and no husband, doesn’t lend itself to listening intently to the speakers. Fortunately for me, Savannah Beal (or “Nana” as Carter calls her) usually sits with me to help with the kids and allow me to leave a couple minutes early to prepare for Primary. Today however, I was on my own since Savannah was the youth speaker, so it really was nothing short of a miracle that I was able to hear anything in the talks.

The thing that stood out to me was a quote from Sheri Dew that Ashley used in her talk:
“While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve ‘the mother of all living’ —and they did so before she ever bore a child.”

This really struck a chord in me. Granted, I have biological children now. But for six years of my married life I did not have children. I know people thought I was putting off a family so that I could attend law school, but that simply wasn’t the case. I went to law school because I didn’t have kids. I knew a legal education was something that I needed to pursue and, interestingly, I got pregnant as soon as I started my last semester. Sometimes the Lord has a plan for us and He insists that we do things His way.

Another reason this quote struck me was because of the position I’m in as an attorney. I have two biological children that I mother, but I have eight other children that I also mother, within the limited scope of my influence. These children range in age from two months to eleven years. I represent them as both their attorney and their guardian ad litem.

Within that context, these children are just as important to me as my own and I take very seriously the role that I play in their lives. I make life altering decisions for them. I define their family. I determine who will raise them.

I have refused to support placements with relatives who I felt would not offer them a quality life. I have asked the court to terminate their parents’ rights because it would be in their best interest. I have requested that a sibling group be split, with one child placed with one family and the other three placed with another. Each of my suggestions and requests has been ordered by the court based solely on my recommendation. That is a lot of weight to carry . . . and I do it because I am a mother.

My current church calling also gives me the opportunity to expand my motherly sphere. As the Second Counselor in the Primary, I have around forty children each week to mother for a couple hours.

When a young CTR5 is having a hard time separating from his mom, I give him a job so he feels like it’s worth it to stay. When a little Sunbeam falls asleep during sharing time, I find a soft mat for him to lie on so he can get the rest he needs. Obviously I teach the children the gospel as well, but the most important part of my calling is showing them just how much their Father in Heaven loves them . . . and I do that by being a mother.

Each of these hats that I wear stem from my divine role as mother. Some are difficult, some are heartbreaking, and some are rewarding, but they are all important. The most important and rewarding however, is being the mother of Raine and Carter. Being a stay-at-home mom was not easy for me. Honestly, it took me a couple years to get used to it. But I am so glad that I stuck with it because it is the best life in the world!

I love going to parent-tot classes with my kids and watching them gain confidence in a new skill.

I love taking them to the zoo to explore this amazing world around us.

I need structure and schedules so classes, activities, and outings are what keep me sane. But everyone needs a PJ day every so often, and I love those days too. We rescue baby jaguar, take all the cushions off the couch to have “jump class,” play with puzzles and blocks, and read PILES of books all snuggled up on the couch. These moments are priceless!

I love to see their faces light up at the simplest thing and to have random conversations with them.

I love to see them learn and grow.

This is my motherhood, and it is the greatest blessing!

It was a beautiful Mother’s Day morning today. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the kids didn’t get up too early. Once everyone was up, and too rambunctious for our bed, we went out and enjoyed a lovely waffle breakfast. Raine and Carter like waffles, but they were really excited for Momma to open her presents, so that soon followed. They each had a box for her to open. Carter was so exited, you would have thought the present was FOR him instead of FROM him.

Kim finally got the last few charms to fill up her bracelet. She has been getting a few for every holiday and special occasion since Christmas, and now it is full.

The last present she opened was a book from Grandma Dewey.

Carter knew it was a book before it was opened, and once the wrapping paper came off he wasn’t going to do anything until he had read that book.

After presents, we all got dressed and went to church. The sacrament speakers were great, Raine did a fabulous job in her first time singing with the primary, and the Bishopric counted tithing during priesthood so we could go home as soon as church was over. That was nice.

I don’t want to brag too much, but when we got home I made a pretty darn good dinner of boneless pork ribs, broccoli, watermelon and croissants. Very tasty indeed!

It was a wonderful day of reflection and celebration of mothers, and all they do for us.

These two are so much fun! Carter always wants to do what Raine does, and Raine always helps him out and includes him in her play.

The other day we were at the zoo play barn. Carter kept trying to climb through the chicken coop but just couldn’t quite pull himself up between levels. The coop is a series of levels with an off-set hole in each level to climb up to the next. Raine was climbing through it at lightning speed with the new friends she had made — up the levels, across the top, down the slide, repeat. As soon as I pointed out that Carter needed help, she told her friends that she needed to help her little brother and ran to his aid. She hoisted him up every single level until he was on the second story of the barn. The other kids kept flying by them as they slowly made their way to the top and it would have been so easy for Raine to get impatient and leave Carter, but she didn’t. It took her a long time and A LOT of effort to get him up there, but she stuck with him and heaved his little bum all the way to the top. Carter was so happy to be up with the big kids. I was such a proud momma watching my kids show just how much they love each other — if I was a crier, I would have shed a tear!

The other day we had a Relief Society meeting on food storage and the lady was asking, “what do you want to store?” She meant it in the context of figuring out what your family wants to eat so that you can then figure out how to store it. But honestly, the only thing I want to store is these cute kids. Someone needs to figure out how to put THAT in a bottle!! Until then, here are a couple videos that DJ and I find hilarious, but that I would be surprised if anyone else even found mildly amusing. They show Carter watching Raine’s every move, and Raine being the in-charge big sister. They don’t capture these kids very well, but hopefully it is enough to remind me of how much fun they are.

This first video is from last Sunday morning. I was getting ready for church and left the bathroom to get dressed. When I came back, this was the scene.

Raine and Carter share a room. When they wake up in the morning, Raine always makes sure that Carter has something to play with while he waits for me to get him. Some mornings I have gone in to find Carter literally up to his neck in toys. Lately, Raine has been climbing into the crib to “read” to him. I love listening to them through the baby monitor.

I wish I could capture their spontaneous laughing fits, or their make-believe, or their hug-fests, but as soon as the camera comes out they shut down, so I just have to relish it in the moment. Maybe there will be re-runs in heaven!

Carter and I are taking a parent-tot tumbling class this session at the rec and we are having so much fun! Carter loves the obstacle course best.

He also really likes the bars. He starts laughing every time he hangs there and always ends up laughing himself right off the bar.

“Ta-da!” On top of the vault.

No fear walking the wide beam unassisted — well, it’s more of a shuffle than a walk.

A note about the shirt he is wearing: This is the only shirt that Carter ever wants to wear. Why? Because it has a ball on it. This kid is very opinionated about what he wears and it kills me!
ONE YEAR OLD BOYS DO NOT GET TO BE PICKY!!!

On Saturday, we had our 3rd Annual Easter Egg Hunt and BBQ. The weather was perfect, the food was good, and the kids had a blast.

Raine and Carter hunting eggs. (Those poor bushes all got fried during the record heat last summer. We were hoping they would come back, but as you can see, they are gone. So sad.)

Raine showing off her basket.

Boston, Elyse, Raine, Carter, and Cade playing duck-duck-goose. Boston was trying so hard to organize a bunch of games with the kids, but kept getting frustrated. He was the oldest one there by about two years and the rest of the kids just didn’t get it. It was funny to watch.

They finally settled on hide-and-go-seek and that seemed to work well.

Although everyone kept hiding together in the bushes so the finding part wasn’t too difficult! Carter was always the last one to the hiding spot so he would just stand between the bushes since there wasn’t any room left behind them.

On Easter morning we all woke up and eagerly went hunting for Easter baskets.

Raine liked the chocolate.

Carter liked the ball that lit up when you bounced it.

We dyed Easter eggs and then ate them for breakfast.

After breakfast we took all of the foam Easter egg crafts that Raine has been making — about 30 in all — and decorated the house of a sister in our ward. Raine loves to make crafts for this lady and she loves receiving them so they have a great relationship!

Blowing bubbles while Carter napped.

Raine in her Easter dress.

After dinner, the kids had some “Daddy jungle-gym” time. Here is Carter “Daddy-surfing.”

We had a wonderful Easter weekend. Carter is finally old enough to get excited about finding eggs. And Raine is finally old enough to understand what Easter is really about. Grandma’s passing in February made it a little more understandable for her because she now sees why it is such a blessing that we will be resurrected and see our family members again.

On Saturday, we had our 3rd Annual Easter Egg Hunt and BBQ. The weather was perfect, the food was good, and the kids had a blast.

Raine and Carter hunting eggs. (Those poor bushes all got fried during the record heat last summer. We were hoping they would come back, but as you can see, they are gone. So sad.)

Raine showing off her basket.

Boston, Elyse, Raine, Carter, and Cade playing duck-duck-goose. Boston was trying so hard to organize a bunch of games with the kids, but kept getting frustrated. He was the oldest one there by about two years and the rest of the kids just didn’t get it. It was funny to watch.

They finally settled on hide-and-go-seek and that seemed to work well.

Although everyone kept hiding together in the bushes so the finding part wasn’t too difficult! Carter was always the last one to the hiding spot so he would just stand between the bushes since there wasn’t any room left behind them.

On Easter morning we all woke up and eagerly went hunting for Easter baskets.

Raine liked the chocolate.

Carter liked the ball that lit up when you bounced it.

We dyed Easter eggs and then ate them for breakfast.

After breakfast we took all of the foam Easter egg crafts that Raine has been making — about 30 in all — and decorated the house of a sister in our ward. Raine loves to make crafts for this lady and she loves receiving them so they have a great relationship!

Blowing bubbles while Carter napped.

Raine in her Easter dress.

After dinner, the kids had some “Daddy jungle-gym” time. Here is Carter “Daddy-surfing.”

We had a wonderful Easter weekend. Carter is finally old enough to get excited about finding eggs. And Raine is finally old enough to understand what Easter is really about. Grandma’s passing in February made it a little more understandable for her because she now sees why it is such a blessing that we will be resurrected and see our family members again.

We have been making the most of our beautiful spring weather with quite a few trips to the zoo. This is a dump of photos from a few of our trips.

Springtime in Texas is really beautiful — the wildflowers are everywhere. I tried to get some photos of the kids in a field of bluebonnets but trying to get them to look at me, let alone smile, was like pulling teeth. After nearly 300 photos — thank heaven for digital cameras — these are the best that I got.

This was the car ride over to the field.

Springtime in Texas is really beautiful — the wildflowers are everywhere. I tried to get some photos of the kids in a field of bluebonnets but trying to get them to look at me, let alone smile, was like pulling teeth. After nearly 300 photos — thank heaven for digital cameras — these are the best that I got.

This was the car ride over to the field.

My recording of Raine-isms is pretty hit-and-miss these days. It seems like I am never in a position to record the really good ones. Here are the few that I have recorded since my last post, along with some photos.

Monday, July 25, 2011
Raine and I were waiting for Carter to wake up so we could go to the grocery store. Raine picked up my grocery list and started “reading”:
Raine: “We need oranges and swiss cheese and tomatoes and we need to go to the toy store to get some toys . . . “
Me: “What!?!!!”
Raine: “And we need to go to the green Target to get some doughnuts.”
I had never noticed that the entrances to Target were different colors until Raine started talking about wanting to go to the “green Target,” not the “blue Target.” She knows that the green doors are on the side of the store where the doughnuts are . . . very observant!

Thursday, August 18, 2011
I was folding my temple dress to put into my bag and Raine asked what I was doing. I told her that I was going to the temple. She got very excited and said, “Oh, are you going to get married!!!”

Monday, August 22, 2011
At lunch today I was telling Raine what something meant (I can’t remember now what it was). She kept telling me that it didn’t mean that, and I would insist that it did. I finally got fed up and said, “Then what does it mean?” Out of nowhere she says, “It means . . . no worries!”

Saturday, September 10, 2011
It was the middle of the afternoon, the kids were playing in the playroom, when all-of-a-sudden Raine ran out of the room. Daddy went to check on her and found her in the bedroom changing her underpants and shorts.
Daddy: “How come you’re changing clothes? Are those wet?”
Raine, very matter-of-fact: “I have to change them ’cause I fluffed in my other underpants.”

Thursday, September 29, 2011
Raine’s turn to count while playing hide-and-seek: “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, percent, dollars, fifty.”

Saturday, March 10, 2012
Raine: “Do chickens lay eggs for people to eat?”
Mom: “Yep, they do.”
Raine: “And do people lay eggs for chickens to eat?”
Mom, laughing: “No silly, people don’t lay eggs.”
Raine: “Oh.”

Sunday, March 18, 2012
Raine had been snitching treats all morning. When she woke up in the morning, the first thing she did was find a stool, climb up on the kitchen counter, get down the bag of M&M’s from the top shelf, and start eating. Later, DJ found her with the Hershey bars left over from our camping trip. When I went into her room to get out her church clothes, I found a half-eaten rope of licorice. I asked her about it and she happily admitted snitching it. Then she said, “Well, I KNOW Heavenly Father loves me!”
What do you say to that!?!!