May 21, 2013
Saturday night the missionaries were over for dinner and I mentioned that President Monson’s wife had passed away the day before. Tonight, out of the blue, Raine asked: “Why did President Monson’s wife pass away?”
I explained that she was really old and that when people are really old they get sick a lot more and eventually Heavenly Father decides He wants them back and they go to live in heaven, like Grandma Nana.
Raine: “Where’s the ramp?”
Me: “The ramp?”
Raine: “Where’s the ramp to heaven?”
Me: “You mean like an exit ramp?”
Raine, mildly annoyed by my inability to understand such a simple question: “Yeah. Where is the exit ramp to heaven?”
Me, racking my brain to come up with something: “Um, I don’t know. I’ve never been there!”
Raine: “Yes you have.
Me: “When? I haven’t died.”
Raine: “Before you came to earth.”
Me: “Oh, you’re right. But I don’t remember. Do you remember?”
Raine: “No. I don’t remember.”

After sleeping in braids, Raine told me that I could call her “Curly Curly”!

May 26, 2013
Carter was making mean noises at Raine so to put an end to it Daddy asked: “Carty, are you being a mean bear? Do you need to go outside?” [Being banished outside is the punishment for being mean.]
Carter: “No. I’m being a mean chicken. Mean chickens don’t need to go outside.”

Later that day
We were sitting down to eat dinner and Carter was in his chair just singing away. We told him to be quiet for the prayer and he quietly folded his arms and bowed his head. As soon as Daddy started praying Carter started singing in the quietest voice possible, “Have you ever been a fishin’ on a bwight an sunny day…” I shushed him but he just kept singing. When Daddy finished, we got after Carter for singing during the prayer.
His response: “I wasn’t singing.”
Me: “Yes, you were singing.”
Carter, with a very convincing I’ve-been-wrongly-accused face: “Only a little bit.”

May 28, 2013
Raine: “Mom guess what. We saw a rabbit when we were playing cars!”
Me: “Oh yeah? A real rabbit?”
Raine: “Yeah, a real one.”
Carter, clarifying: “Yeah, but not the Easter rabbit, a different one.”

June 3, 2013
Carter came into our room in the wee-morning hours. After DJ took him potty, he snuggled up next to me on the pillow. Then, in an almost imperceptibly quiet voice, he started singing: “Old McDonald had a farm, e-i-e-i-o. And on his farm he had a shark, e-i-e-i-o.”

I came in to find my computer on the floor and this little monkey “working” in my place! (He found an old-school keyboard in a corner somewhere and propped up his Fisher-price laptop on my desk, then he got frustrated that his computer didn’t recognize the letters he was typing on the remote keyboard!)

Later that morning
Raine: “Mom, I don’t want my birthday to be in September. Sometimes I’m going to want my birthday party at the pool, so I don’t want my birthday in September.”

Raine loves creating patterns!

June 4, 2013
Carter was climbing on Daddy this morning and poked his stomach asking: “What are these lumpy things?”
Daddy: “Those are the muscles in my rock-hard abs!”
Carter, pointing out Daddy’s abs to me: “Muscles!”
Me: “Raine do you have any rock-hard stomach muscles?”
Raine: “No.”
Me: “What do you have?”
Raine, pinching some chub with a little grin: “Pumpkin pie!!”
Carter, pinching his own little chubs: “Pumpkin pie!!”
Me: “What does mommy have?” (fulling expecting them to say “Muscles!”)
Carter: “Pumpkin pie!!!”

June 5 – Whole Foods had a Brazilian festival so we stopped by to get some ingredients for an ethnic feast.

Trying the star fruit

June 7, 2013
Me to Carter: “Come here baby.”
Carter: “I’m not a baby.”
Me: “You’re not a baby? What are you?”
Carter: “I am just Rah-Rah’s little brother.” [This is his response any time you ask him who/what he is. He thinks the world of his big sister! ]
Me: “How come you’re not my baby?”
Carter: “Because I am your snuggle buddy.”

Working from home can be such a messy proposition. If they aren’t interrupting phone calls with comments about bowel movements, they are systematically emptying the playroom!

June 10, 2013
We were walking down an aisle at Home Depot, searching for garage door openers, when Carter yells: “I saw a cowboy!”
I glanced over to see a man wearing a cowboy hat passing us in the aisle — he did not look amused!

June 11, 2013
Daddy to Raine as they got ready for bed: “Raine you need to go potty.”
Raine: “No. I already went. ”
Daddy, doubtful: “Are you sure? How long ago?”
Raine: “Just now. I didn’t flush the potty. See look!”

June 11, 2013
Carter was complaining about his tummy hurting and, after noticing his muffin-top, Daddy suggested that taking off his shorts might help.
Carter, a few minutes later, with a very concerned look on his face: “Daddy, I want to put my shorts back on. It’s not modest.”

June 13, 2013
As we drove home, Daddy and I were talking about going to the fireworks Saturday night and then remembered that we signed up to feed the missionaries the same night. Raine piped up from the back seat: “So, maybe they can just not do the scripture so we can go to the fireworks.” [That girl has a solution for everything!]

June 15, 2013
We were getting ready to go swimming after dinner and I told Carter that he didn’t need to wear his hat since it wasn’t sunny. With a very concerned look on his face he responded: “My head will not be modest. I do have to wear my hat so my head will be modest.”

And finally, a few parent-isms — actual sentences that you have to put together and aim at another member of our species (as Brian Regan says):
– “If you stick your face in my bum one more time there is gonna be trouble!”
– “We do NOT scratch our heads with our feet at the dinner table!”
– “No more strawberries until you eat your french-fries.”
– “No son, you may not wear a tutu to the grocery store.”